The Pillar Punters Cup — the wrap

Saturday 31 October 2026 · 38 races · Randwick, Flemington, Doomben, Morphettville · five humans and one machine that should not have been invited

Trev wins the Pillar Punters Cup on 55.90, which he will take, and about which he should probably keep quiet. The non-competing AI entry — a thing that cannot appear in the ladder on principle — scored 61.75. It has declined to comment, which is exactly the sort of behaviour that wins these things.

It was not a procession. The lead changed hands twelve times and passed through five different punters. Russ led three separate times. Ash led twice from nowhere. Craig led once, for nearly two hours, and will remember it. Azza led for nine minutes in the middle of lunch.

What settled it was not a horse. It was a protest. At Doomben R7, Russ and Craig held Headhunter at $9.40. The stewards upheld a 2nd-v-1st objection, promoted Toro Strike, and re-declared the dividends at $3.60 and $2.20. Both men lost 7.20 in a single cycle. Trev, holding Toro Strike, gained 1.90 and took the lead at 17:32. Nobody caught him.

Craig finished the day with eleven placings — more than anyone — and third place to show for it: death by a thousand small dividends. Russ finished last with seven winners, joint most of any human, which is either magnificent bad luck or a lecture on the dangers of backing $1.50 shots. And Ash, who went thirteen consecutive races without a point, finished fourth anyway on the back of one $14.00 hit.

Final standings

1Trev$55.906W 6P
2Azza$50.207W 7P
3Craig$49.806W 11P
4Ash$48.803W 8P
5Russ$41.507W 8P

How it unfolded

12:32Trev and Craig land the first one together. Trev leads on a countback nobody understands.
12:53Azza pinches the lead by five cents. Football, this.
13:02Russ takes it back.
13:24Trev again.
13:41Russ again. Four changes in an hour.
13:47Trev.
14:29Ash wakes up and jumps to 23.40 — having been on 4.20 twenty minutes earlier.
14:32Trev back in front by a nose.
14:44Craig takes the lead for the only time, at 27.50.
16:27Ash leads again on 42.50, ten points clear of Trev, who has vanished into the middle of the field.
16:55Craig edges Ash by twenty cents. Nobody breathes.
17:32The Doomben R7 protest is upheld. Toro Strike is promoted, Russ and Craig each lose 7.20, and Trev takes the lead for good.

Trev Azza Craig Ash Russ Al (the machine)

Trev

$55.90 6 wins · 6 placings

A slow burn that turned into a procession. Six winners, the biggest of them Travolta at $16.60 at Randwick, and the strongest Randwick card of anyone (21.50 before lunch). Then a six-race stretch of nothing while the others caught up. What actually won it was the protest: when the stewards promoted Toro Strike at Doomben R7, Trev collected $3.60 that nobody else in the leading group had, took the lead at 17:32, and was never headed again.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#6 Force March	6th	0.00	Force March finishes 6th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#5 Magic Merlin	13th	0.00	Nothing doing for Magic Merlin in 13th.
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#4 RUINATION	1st	3.30	RUINATION salutes at —. The tote screen makes a sound it rarely makes.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#17 Change My Address	17th	0.00	Change My Address was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 17th.
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#12 Koolibah	3rd	0.00	Koolibah finishes 3rd. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#3 Ertijaaj	5th	0.00	Ertijaaj finishes 5th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#5 Grafterburners	5th	0.00	Grafterburners runs 5th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#3 Autumn Boy	5th	0.00	Autumn Boy runs 5th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#6 Travolta	1st	16.60	Travolta at $16.60. The longest-priced winner anyone found all day, and the moment his afternoon stopped being a grind.
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#8 Whatalegacy	3rd	1.60	Whatalegacy fills a placing at $1.60. Nobody celebrates, nobody suffers.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#9 Conquer The World	3rd	1.70	Conquer The World runs 3rd for $1.70. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#4 Pin Up Sheila	9th	0.00	Pin Up Sheila beats almost none of them home. 9th.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#3 De Armas	1st	3.60	De Armas gets there, $3.60 to the good. Rare and lovely.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#17 The Cosmic One	11th	0.00	The Cosmic One was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 11th.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#6 Here To Shock	—	0.00	No joy for Here To Shock. The tote remained unmoved.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#5 St Gotthard	2nd	1.40	St Gotthard runs 2nd for $1.40. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#10 True Tone	14th	0.00	True Tone. 14th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#3 Surfin' Bird	5th	0.00	Surfin' Bird, 5th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#11 Eagle Express	12th	0.00	Eagle Express finishes 12th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#4 Better Be Done	7th	0.00	Better Be Done. 7th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#6 So Fortunate	3rd	0.00	So Fortunate finishes 3rd. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#2 Prince Levi	5th	0.00	Prince Levi runs 5th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#11 Cardonette	1st	1.60	Cardonette wins, $1.60. The shortest route to a better mood.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#2 Ever So Ready	5th	0.00	Ever So Ready finishes 5th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#10 Savaii	11th	0.00	Savaii. 11th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#9 Toro Strike	1st	3.60	Toro Strike, promoted on protest from second to first. The stewards basically handed him the trophy and said nothing.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#7 Bluepinot	7th	0.00	Bluepinot beats almost none of them home. 7th.
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#9 Zoubaby	2nd	4.60	Zoubaby places at $2.30 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#4 No Drama	—	0.00	No Drama beaten, unplaced, unremarked.
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#2 Presscode	3rd	0.00	Presscode beats almost none of them home. 3rd.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#14 Klasyk Mode	2nd	2.60	Klasyk Mode runs 2nd, $2.60. Fine. Fine!
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#1 Czech Out	1st	14.00	Czech Out salutes at $7.00. The tote screen makes a sound it rarely makes.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#3 Sicilian Princess	2nd	1.30	Sicilian Princess in the money at $1.30. Mildly magnificent.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#4 Big Mav	7th	0.00	Nothing doing for Big Mav in 7th.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#4 Fiora Blue	6th	0.00	Fiora Blue finishes 6th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#3 Alpine Flyer	6th	0.00	Alpine Flyer runs 6th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#16 Largs Legacy	12th	0.00	Nothing doing for Largs Legacy in 12th.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#9 Sir Leapalot	11th	0.00	Sir Leapalot finishes 11th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.

Azza

$50.20 7 wins · 7 placings

Arrived with the quiet confidence of someone who had been added to the field that morning, and very nearly stole it. The Randwick card was outstanding — 22.20, the best of any human at any meeting — carried by Decorum at $7.30 in the double race for $14.60. Flemington, by contrast, was a wasteland: nine races, 3.90, one long afternoon spent watching other people's horses.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#3 Azarax	5th	0.00	Azarax was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 5th.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#6 Party Boss	2nd	2.00	Party Boss in the money at $2.00. Mildly magnificent.
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#4 RUINATION	1st	3.30	First past the post: RUINATION, —.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#3 Dusty Bay	10th	0.00	Dusty Bay was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 10th.
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#8 Columbus	1st	2.30	Columbus gets there, $2.30 to the good. Rare and lovely.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#3 Ertijaaj	5th	0.00	Ertijaaj. 5th. Zero. Onwards.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#5 Grafterburners	5th	0.00	Grafterburners, 5th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#7 Decorum	2nd	14.60	Decorum at $7.30 in the double race — $14.60, her biggest single result of the day.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#1 Kovalica	7th	0.00	Kovalica was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 7th.
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#5 Sylph	4th	0.00	Sylph beats almost none of them home. 4th.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#3 High Falls	7th	0.00	Nothing doing for High Falls in 7th.
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#2 I Am Aria	4th	0.00	I Am Aria was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 4th.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#1 Icelady	3rd	1.50	Icelady runs 3rd for $1.50. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#2 Napoleonic	16th	0.00	Napoleonic. 16th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#10 Hughes	—	0.00	Hughes finished among the also-rans. Onwards.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#13 Satono Glow	—	0.00	Satono Glow finished among the also-rans. Onwards.
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#5 Murshidi	4th	0.00	Murshidi, 4th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#3 Surfin' Bird	5th	0.00	Surfin' Bird. 5th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#1 Geegees Mistruth	2nd	2.40	Geegees Mistruth fills a placing at $2.40. Nobody celebrates, nobody suffers.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#1 Ghost Gum	5th	0.00	Ghost Gum beats almost none of them home. 5th.
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#1 Win Star	2nd	0.00	Win Star finishes 2nd. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#6 Awaygoesthebunny	2nd	1.80	2nd for Awaygoesthebunny, $1.80. A small, honest earner.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#11 Cardonette	1st	1.60	Cardonette brings it home at $1.60, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#7 Groening	4th	0.00	Groening runs 4th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#15 Vintage Vibes	1st	5.00	Vintage Vibes brings it home at $5.00, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#15 Tempranillo	6th	0.00	The race that got restated. Tempranillo finished 6th, which at least nobody argued about.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#7 Bluepinot	7th	0.00	Bluepinot. 7th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#9 Zoubaby	2nd	4.60	2nd for Zoubaby, $2.30. A small, honest earner.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#7 Ten Deep	2nd	1.10	Ten Deep runs 2nd, $1.10. Fine. Fine!
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#4 It'sanotherbattle	1st	1.40	It'sanotherbattle brings it home at $1.40, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#9 Mean Mazzle	5th	0.00	Mean Mazzle beats almost none of them home. 5th.
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#3 Rebel Tuesday	7th	0.00	Rebel Tuesday was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 7th.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#1 Beyond Mysti	1st	2.50	Beyond Mysti brings it home at $2.50, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#3 Extra Fling	4th	0.00	Extra Fling beats almost none of them home. 4th.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#4 Fiora Blue	6th	0.00	Fiora Blue finishes 6th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#12 All Too Mysti	1st	6.10	All Too Mysti — winner at $6.10. No notes.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#2 I Am Ralph	8th	0.00	I Am Ralph finishes 8th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#5 Inexorable	10th	0.00	Inexorable was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 10th.

Craig

$49.80 6 wins · 11 placings

The most consistent punter of the day and somehow only third. Eleven placings, more than anyone, three of them seconds in a row at one point — death by a thousand small dividends. His big moment was Czech Out at $7.00 in the Morphettville double, worth $14.00. His worst was Doomben R7, where he held Headhunter at $9.40 until the protest was upheld and it became $2.20. That 7.20 is the difference between third and first.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#4 She Moves Too	8th	0.00	She Moves Too was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 8th.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#2 Bluish Hue	1st	1.50	Bluish Hue wins. $1.50. File that under "things that occasionally happen".
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#4 RUINATION	1st	3.30	RUINATION wins, —. The shortest route to a better mood.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#5 Cuban Cigar	2nd	2.70	Cuban Cigar runs 2nd, $2.70. Fine. Fine!
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#8 Columbus	1st	2.30	Columbus — winner at $2.30. No notes.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#6 Bon Holler	8th	0.00	Bon Holler beats almost none of them home. 8th.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#8 Headwall	2nd	2.00	Headwall in the money at $2.00. Mildly magnificent.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#16 Sheza Alibi	11th	0.00	Sheza Alibi was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 11th.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#14 Barrengarry	2nd	1.60	Barrengarry places at $1.60 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#5 Sylph	4th	0.00	Sylph finishes 4th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#9 Conquer The World	3rd	1.70	Conquer The World in the money at $1.70. Mildly magnificent.
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#2 I Am Aria	4th	0.00	I Am Aria runs 4th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#5 Your Colour	11th	0.00	Your Colour beats almost none of them home. 11th.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#14 Grand Impact	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Grand Impact in 4th.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#5 Warnie	—	0.00	Warnie was never in the placings. Nothing doing.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#12 Natural Fling	—	0.00	No joy for Natural Fling. The tote remained unmoved.
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#4 King Snitz	8th	0.00	King Snitz. 8th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#10 Concord Connie	2nd	2.00	Concord Connie places at $2.00 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#14 Silver Wedding	10th	0.00	Nothing doing for Silver Wedding in 10th.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#4 Better Be Done	7th	0.00	Nothing doing for Better Be Done in 7th.
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#5 May The Force	—	0.00	May The Force. Nowhere. Next race.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#7 Becamo	3rd	2.00	Becamo runs 3rd for $2.00. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#11 Cardonette	1st	1.60	Cardonette salutes at $1.60. The tote screen makes a sound it rarely makes.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#1 Kickup Rocky	1st	2.50	First past the post: Kickup Rocky, $2.50.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#8 Abender	6th	0.00	Nothing doing for Abender in 6th.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#11 Headhunter	2nd	2.20	Held the winner at $9.40 — until the stewards upheld the protest and turned it into $2.20. The most expensive two minutes of the day.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#2 Fabulantes	2nd	1.80	Fabulantes runs 2nd, $1.80. Fine. Fine!
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#9 Zoubaby	2nd	4.60	Zoubaby in the money at $2.30. Mildly magnificent.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#12 Amuseantes	—	0.00	Amuseantes finished among the also-rans. Onwards.
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#2 Presscode	3rd	0.00	Nothing doing for Presscode in 3rd.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#9 Mean Mazzle	5th	0.00	Mean Mazzle, 5th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#1 Czech Out	1st	14.00	Czech Out, $7.00, doubled. Fourteen points and a brief, sincere belief that he would win the competition.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#6 Machrimore	9th	0.00	Machrimore runs 9th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#3 Extra Fling	4th	0.00	Extra Fling beats almost none of them home. 4th.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#9 Tower Of Tuscany	3rd	1.90	Tower Of Tuscany places at $1.90 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#8 Shadow Eagle	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Shadow Eagle in 4th.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#10 Gruelling	3rd	2.10	3rd for Gruelling, $2.10. A small, honest earner.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#13 Violet Lovebug	7th	0.00	Nothing doing for Violet Lovebug in 7th.

Ash

$48.80 3 wins · 8 placings

Three winners all day, which should not be enough to finish fourth — and is, because one of them was enormous. Czech Out at $7.00 in the double-points race at Morphettville paid $14.00 and rescued an afternoon that had otherwise been a spectator sport. Thirteen consecutive races without a cent at one stage, most of them spent watching horses finish in the wrong order.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#6 Force March	6th	0.00	Force March, 6th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#6 Party Boss	2nd	2.00	2nd for Party Boss, $2.00. A small, honest earner.
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#8 Just Response	—	0.00	Just Response finished among the also-rans. Onwards.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#8 Just In Time	15th	0.00	Just In Time beats almost none of them home. 15th.
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#11 Cavalry	4th	0.00	Cavalry was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 4th.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#10 Nova Centauri	12th	0.00	Nothing doing for Nova Centauri in 12th.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#6 Ninja	4th	0.00	Ninja. 4th. Zero. Onwards.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#5 Attica	12th	0.00	Attica beats almost none of them home. 12th.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#7 Portland	6th	0.00	Portland finishes 6th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#6 Fuadee	7th	0.00	Fuadee finishes 7th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#3 High Falls	7th	0.00	High Falls beats almost none of them home. 7th.
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#12 Blue Dream	10th	0.00	Blue Dream, 10th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#5 Your Colour	11th	0.00	Your Colour. 11th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#10 Golden Straand	9th	0.00	Golden Straand runs 9th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#17 Scheelite	—	0.00	Scheelite finished among the also-rans. Onwards.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#5 St Gotthard	2nd	1.40	St Gotthard places at $1.40 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#16 Quick Finish	3rd	13.90	3rd for Quick Finish, $6.95. A small, honest earner.
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#5 Unleeshing	10th	0.00	Unleeshing, 10th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#17 Nepo Baby	6th	0.00	Nepo Baby beats almost none of them home. 6th.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#4 Better Be Done	7th	0.00	Better Be Done runs 7th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#2 Your Attitude	1st	2.20	Your Attitude gets there, $2.20 to the good. Rare and lovely.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#9 Thinkhardandfast	1st	5.20	Thinkhardandfast wins at $5.20. Somewhere a fist goes up.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#1 Believe In Angels	8th	0.00	Nothing doing for Believe In Angels in 8th.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#6 Amourette	7th	0.00	Amourette beats almost none of them home. 7th.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#7 Midnight Spirit	9th	0.00	Nothing doing for Midnight Spirit in 9th.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#14 Misting	5th	0.00	The race that got restated. Misting finished 5th, which at least nobody argued about.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#1 Thunderlips	8th	0.00	Thunderlips finishes 8th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#8 Bring Me Kash	6th	0.00	Bring Me Kash. 6th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#2 Hell	3rd	2.00	Hell in the money at $2.00. Mildly magnificent.
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#3 Arabella Star	5th	0.00	Arabella Star. 5th. Zero. Onwards.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#3 Desert Charm	13th	0.00	Desert Charm finishes 13th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#1 Czech Out	1st	14.00	Czech Out at $7.00 in the double-points race. Fourteen points in one hit — the entire engine of an otherwise quiet afternoon.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#8 Koratora	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Koratora in 4th.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#8 Tripod Terror	2nd	1.70	Tripod Terror places at $1.70 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#6 Capulet	2nd	2.10	Capulet in the money at $2.10. Mildly magnificent.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#2 Shady Thinker	2nd	2.20	Shady Thinker places at $2.20 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#10 Gruelling	3rd	2.10	Gruelling fills a placing at $2.10. Nobody celebrates, nobody suffers.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#15 Stomp'em	4th	0.00	Stomp'em beats almost none of them home. 4th.

Russ

$41.50 7 wins · 8 placings

Seven winners — joint most of any human — and last place. Nobody has ever worked harder for less. The highlight was Private Eye at $7.55 at Flemington; the lowlight was Doomben R7, where he and Craig held Headhunter at $9.40 and the stewards took 7.20 back off them both in the space of two minutes. Seven winners, zero luck.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#3 Azarax	5th	0.00	Azarax beats almost none of them home. 5th.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#2 Bluish Hue	1st	1.50	Bluish Hue brings it home at $1.50, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#1 Mawjood	—	0.00	Mawjood. Nowhere. Next race.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#8 Just In Time	15th	0.00	Just In Time runs 15th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#11 Cavalry	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Cavalry in 4th.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#4 Beside The Ocean	10th	0.00	Beside The Ocean, 10th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#2 Headley Grange	9th	0.00	Headley Grange. 9th. Zero. Onwards.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#3 Autumn Boy	5th	0.00	Autumn Boy beats almost none of them home. 5th.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#7 Portland	6th	0.00	Portland was in it for a while, then emphatically was not. 6th.
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#8 Whatalegacy	3rd	1.60	Whatalegacy runs 3rd for $1.60. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#2 Unhinged	2nd	1.05	Unhinged runs 2nd, $1.05. Fine. Fine!
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#4 Pin Up Sheila	9th	0.00	Nothing doing for Pin Up Sheila in 9th.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#5 Your Colour	11th	0.00	Your Colour. 11th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#2 Napoleonic	16th	0.00	Napoleonic. 16th. Zero. Onwards.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#2 Private Eye	1st	7.55	Private Eye at $7.55. His best result, and proof the wheels do occasionally turn.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#5 St Gotthard	2nd	1.40	St Gotthard runs 2nd, $1.40. Fine. Fine!
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#2 Stormy Marco	1st	7.00	Stormy Marco wins. $3.50. File that under "things that occasionally happen".
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#1 Lady Shenandoah	1st	1.80	Lady Shenandoah salutes at $1.80. The tote screen makes a sound it rarely makes.
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#4 Flying For Fun	1st	2.10	First past the post: Flying For Fun, $2.10.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#5 Crescendoed	3rd	3.30	Crescendoed runs 3rd, $3.30. Fine. Fine!
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#2 Your Attitude	1st	2.20	Your Attitude wins, $2.20. The shortest route to a better mood.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#7 Becamo	3rd	2.00	Becamo runs 3rd for $2.00. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#5 Millennium Blade	6th	0.00	Millennium Blade, 6th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#3 Duke Of Albemarle	6th	0.00	Nothing doing for Duke Of Albemarle in 6th.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#1 True Amor	3rd	1.70	True Amor runs 3rd for $1.70. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#11 Headhunter	2nd	2.20	Held the winner at $9.40 — until the stewards upheld the protest and turned it into $2.20. The most expensive two minutes of the day.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#11 Entrusting	10th	0.00	Entrusting. 10th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#4 Blitzburg	10th	0.00	Nothing doing for Blitzburg in 10th.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#11 Chief In Charge	—	0.00	Chief In Charge. Nowhere. Next race.
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#3 Arabella Star	5th	0.00	Arabella Star finishes 5th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#9 Mean Mazzle	5th	0.00	Mean Mazzle beats almost none of them home. 5th.
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#6 Haniata	3rd	3.60	Haniata places at $1.80 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#1 Beyond Mysti	1st	2.50	Beyond Mysti — winner at $2.50. No notes.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#4 Big Mav	7th	0.00	Big Mav finishes 7th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#11 Geetee Forty	9th	0.00	Geetee Forty runs 9th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#7 Mostly For Show	7th	0.00	Mostly For Show finishes 7th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#2 I Am Ralph	8th	0.00	Nothing doing for I Am Ralph in 8th.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#5 Inexorable	10th	0.00	Inexorable beats almost none of them home. 10th.

Al non-competing

$61.75 11 wins · 9 placings

The non-competing entry that cannot appear in the ladder on principle, which is just as well because it would be winning it. Eleven winners and 61.75 points — more than the actual champion by six. Strongest at Doomben (21.20) and across the Flemington card (20.75). It has been asked to comment and has declined, which is exactly the sort of behaviour that wins these things.

Race	Pick	Fin	Pts	Verdict
Randwick R1Toyota Forklifts (Bm78)	#4 She Moves Too	8th	0.00	She Moves Too, 8th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Randwick R2TAB Highway Hcp (C3)	#6 Party Boss	2nd	2.00	Party Boss runs 2nd for $2.00. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Randwick R3Mostyncopper (Bm78)	#5 Damien	—	0.00	Damien — out the back somewhere, doing its own thing.
Randwick R4Four Pillars Midway (Bm68)	#3 Dusty Bay	10th	0.00	Dusty Bay finishes 10th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Randwick R5Alm On-Premise (Bm78)	#8 Columbus	1st	2.30	Columbus gets there, $2.30 to the good. Rare and lovely.
Randwick R6E Security Group (Bm78)	#3 Ertijaaj	5th	0.00	Ertijaaj, 5th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Randwick R7The Russell Balding Stakes	#8 Headwall	2nd	2.00	Headwall runs 2nd for $2.00. Respectable, and respectable pays.
Randwick R8×2Asahi Super Dry Golden Eagle	#1 Beiwacht	3rd	4.40	Beiwacht in the money at $2.20. Mildly magnificent.
Randwick R9Sydney Gold Cup	#14 Barrengarry	2nd	1.60	Barrengarry runs 2nd, $1.60. Fine. Fine!
Randwick R10Catanach's Jewellers (Bm78)	#14 Somerton Smart	2nd	1.70	Somerton Smart places at $1.70 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Flemington R1Channel 9 Carbine Club Stakes	#2 Unhinged	2nd	1.05	Unhinged fills a placing at $1.05. Nobody celebrates, nobody suffers.
Flemington R2TAB One Pool Vanity	#1 Regal Ambition	1st	2.25	First past the post: Regal Ambition, $2.25.
Flemington R3HKJC World Pool Wakeful Stakes	#3 De Armas	1st	3.60	De Armas wins at $3.60. Somewhere a fist goes up.
Flemington R4G.H. Mumm Rising Fast Stakes	#10 Golden Straand	9th	0.00	Golden Straand runs 9th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Flemington R5The ABC Bullion Damien Oliver	#2 Private Eye	1st	7.55	First past the post: Private Eye, $7.55.
Flemington R6Coolmore Stud Stakes	#1 The Next Episode	1st	2.40	The Next Episode gets there, $2.40 to the good. Rare and lovely.
Flemington R7×2Howden Victoria Derby	#1 Cormier	7th	0.00	Cormier runs 7th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Flemington R8TAB Empire Rose Stakes	#1 Lady Shenandoah	1st	1.80	Lady Shenandoah wins. $1.80. File that under "things that occasionally happen".
Flemington R9Asahi Super Dry Sprint	#4 Flying For Fun	1st	2.10	Flying For Fun — winner at $2.10. No notes.
Doomben R1Ladbrokes Spring Racing Carnival Hcp	#5 Crescendoed	3rd	3.30	Crescendoed fills a placing at $3.30. Nobody celebrates, nobody suffers.
Doomben R2Drinkwise Hcp	#1 Win Star	2nd	0.00	Win Star beats almost none of them home. 2nd.
Doomben R3XXXX (Bm85)	#1 Our Anchorage	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Our Anchorage in 4th.
Doomben R4Civilpipes Hcp (65)	#11 Cardonette	1st	1.60	Cardonette brings it home at $1.60, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Doomben R5Sky Racing Hcp	#4 O'reillys Flight	3rd	2.90	O'reillys Flight places at $2.90 — the sort of result that keeps a bankroll alive.
Doomben R6Canadian Club (Rs0mw)	#7 Midnight Spirit	9th	0.00	Midnight Spirit finishes 9th. The afternoon moves on without sympathy.
Doomben R7Century Pools (Bm70)	#8 Duke Of Camden	4th	0.00	The race that got restated. Duke Of Camden finished 4th, which at least nobody argued about.
Doomben R8Higgins Coatings Hcp (C6)	#7 Bluepinot	7th	0.00	Bluepinot. 7th. Zero. Onwards.
Doomben R9×2Cricks Highway Hcp	#4 Blitzburg	10th	0.00	Blitzburg runs 10th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Doomben R10Ladbrokes Tote In +10% In October (Bm85)	#6 Ser Joh	1st	13.40	Ser Joh wins at $13.40. Somewhere a fist goes up.
Morphettville R1Sportsbet Jockey Watch Hcp (C2)	#4 It'sanotherbattle	1st	1.40	It'sanotherbattle brings it home at $1.40, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Morphettville R2Sportsbet Blackbook Mdn Plate	#9 Mean Mazzle	5th	0.00	Mean Mazzle, 5th. A fact we will agree not to dwell on.
Morphettville R3×2Sportsbet Race Replays (Bm68)	#7 Inhabit	4th	0.00	Nothing doing for Inhabit in 4th.
Morphettville R4Kirin Ichiban Hcp (62)	#1 Beyond Mysti	1st	2.50	Beyond Mysti brings it home at $2.50, and the form guide is briefly vindicated.
Morphettville R5Sherriff Electrical Wholesalers Hcp (62)	#1 Accuser	6th	0.00	Accuser runs 6th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Morphettville R6Lexus Of Adelaide Hcp (64)	#9 Tower Of Tuscany	3rd	1.90	3rd for Tower Of Tuscany, $1.90. A small, honest earner.
Morphettville R7MM Electrical (Bm72)	#7 Mostly For Show	7th	0.00	Mostly For Show. 7th. Zero. Onwards.
Morphettville R8Dave Loy Hcp (62)	#4 Albanian I Am	6th	0.00	Albanian I Am runs 6th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.
Morphettville R9Peter Elberg Funerals (Bm70)	#13 Violet Lovebug	7th	0.00	Violet Lovebug runs 7th. The tote is unmoved and so, frankly, is the crowd.